Chapter 37: DANGEROUS DRIVING

"Defensive driving is driving like everyone is out to get you.... because if you don't they WILL get you"

Here are some typical sub-species of drivers out to get you:

  • Anyone with a bullbar. Most of these drivers think they are safer than everyone else because they look down on everyone else.

  • Girl racers in go-fast Japanese cars. They all think they are racing drivers as they weave recklessly through the freeway traffic at 20 kph over the speed limit with one hand on the steering wheel and essentially no idea.

  • Ignorant fools who flash their lights to let you know your headlights are on during broad daylight. In many countries daytime headlights are mandatory.

  • Adrenalin charged youths piloting low flying, low slung Corolla's or worse still a Hyundai Excels. These drivers are usually noticed by the super stereo that you can hear approaching 10 seconds before they appear. (Have you ever noticed the music is always crappy, never anything worth broadcasting) Pity they didn't redirect the money wasted on the stereo into a set of good tyres or a better car to start with.

  • Kamikaze bus drivers who dive out in front of you and think they are invincible because of the little "Give way when bus is pulling out" sign on the rear.

  • Most builders utes, or van drivers, who in their overloaded, under-tyred workhorse daily defy the laws of physics. Have they ever had a look at the extra costs of their driving style.

  • Any car with a modified exhaust leaving an industrial estate after work on Friday arvo. Never have you seen so many wheel spins, tyre smoke and wankers in action.

  • Any car with a resale value of less than $500. No loss to them if they crash into you. The chance they have comprehensive insurance is remote.

THE FOLLOWING TRANSCRIPT PROVES THE IMPORTANCE OF:

  • GOOD COMMUNICATION
  • THE GIVE WAY RULE IN ACTION
  • AND THAT DRIVERS ARE OUT TO GET YOU (EVEN AT SEA)
  • This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval
    ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

    Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

    Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

    Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

    Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

    (Written by Joel Neilsen, Managing Director, Safe Drive Training)